I think I found the following article on Yahoo.com on July 2, 2012,
who attributed it to YourTango.com,
who attributed it to Judy Wright Helm[sic] and
dated it June 7, 2012.
How to Discipline Your Kids: 5 Tips for Dads
By Judy Helm Wright
Find out how dads can be firm while bonding with their kids. Many fathers assume
discipline means yelling, threatening or spanking children when their behavior is
unacceptable. However, discipline can be interpreted in many ways and dealt
with differently among different fathers.
The first thing to know about discipline is the two ways it can be interpreted.
Some men may be confusing discipline - which means loving guidance and teaching - with
punishment. Punishment is punitive and harsh.
Their own fathers worked long hours and the mother did most of the parenting,
sometimes with threats such as, just wait till your father comes home! Consequently,
some men grew up without a strong, caring father. Those men may not be sure how to
parent or how to get cooperation without punishing or yelling.
If there is a blended family, or the children are in two households, it is
very important for dads to be consistent in giving kind, firm guidance and
discipline. Be consistent. If one parent is permissive and the other is
punitive or strict, the combined methods constitute a mixed approach. For
a child, this is like living in a country where two different governments
are operating simultaneously.
Children figure out quickly when the rules are different between two parents,
and they learn to play one against the other. This mixed, or inconsistent,
approach brings out the most extreme reactions in parents and children. So,
as a dad, make a decision that your method of parenting will be consistent
and respectful. Once your child knows what your expectations are, he or she
will more easily rise to meet those guidelines and trust you.
With that being said, building a trusting relationship with a child is key
to proper discipline. Here are five tips fathers can use to discipline a child,
while also building a strong father-child bond:
Be a role model. Being an effective and loving Dad is one of the
highest honors a man can have. When you build those strong connections
and trust with your child, you will have gained a legacy that you
can both be proud of.
- Be firm, kind and respectful in setting boundaries.
- Try to say yes, more often than no. Yes, you may have a cookie ... right after dinner.
- Use logical consequences to correct inappropriate
behavior. If you leave your bike outside on the sidewalk once
more, we will put it in the garage for a week. And then do it.
- Be a role model for integrity. Your child will learn
much more from what you do, rather than from what you say.
- Hold family meetings to allow everyone to share ideas and
suggestions, on how to make the family connect more closely
and the house run smoothly. Make these meetings a priority
and make them a joyful time, not a time of correction or conflict.